Monday, December 6, 2010

Have you ever.....

Have you ever been invited to a dinner of a good friend and in the past you know she cooks like well ummm lets say somewhere between Guy Fiera, and ummmmm one of these 2 fat ladies (ya know the 70,80's euro show) Well that's what happened to us today.

I know I know you are all saying oh my god what did you do how did you get out of having to eat that slop was there a dog, a cat fuck even a small child you could force the food down toooooooooo

NO NO and maybe but NO

I cooked the most horrendous meal this evening.  It was supposed to be devine, a beautiful beef pot roast ( a huge treat for us non beef eaters)  with all the trimmings, baby potatoes, baby carrots. YUMMO it sounds amazing doesn't, don't lie I know you're drooling at the thought of it.

I figured I'd brown it up nice and yummy in my fancy schmancy enameled cast iron dutch over add some onions, garlic, i think maybe some juice or wine of some sort that i had on had.  The usual herbs that I use, rosemary and thyme S&P and garlic.  I let it cook for an hour or so on top of the said stove on LOW yes, LOW heat I shit you not.

Ash and I had a few errands to run pictures to take (wait until tomorrow, they are soooo cute) and a few hours later we're home and fricking starving our asses off.  I have instant mashed potatoes ready to go (yes Mrs fancy pants i use instant, tastes the same only quicker)(OK Mrs fancy pants I'm a liar I'm awesome at real like home made made potatoes with like a pound of butter and half a thing of heavy cream run through a ricer and whipped until delicate and delicious but it's Christmas and i didn't have time)

This is what I came home to..... Gross

Well, we scrapped out what we could eat so what you see up there that's the remains of what once was an amazingly looking perfectly marbled beef roast and beautiful organic baby carrots.

Any ideas on what i shall ruin tomorrow......................... I've got plenty in the deep freeze, Chicken, fish, anything.............I'll see what kind of havoc I can wreck on dinner tomorrow :D

#### Just as a side note, my crazy wife loved it, said it tasted like every pot roast her mother has ever made and now I don't know if that's a compliment because the only thing that woman cooks comes from a box and requires hamburger............... ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh yuck!!!


Mark said...

Love it!
You are like the Bizarro World Martha Stewart.
Your Friend, m.

paradykes said...

I strive to be the bizarro world Martha.............. Although, I can cook I just don't have the staff of my dear sweet Martha on hand to back me up in the kitchen (the bitch)

witchywoman said...

Hey there...if you have a crockpot, throw your roast in that the next time with all the veggies, too...even chunks of REAL potatoes...LOL! Put the roast and junk in the pot in the morning and let it go on low all day, you won't have that mess or you can do it in a super slow oven (275-300 degrees) for about 4 or 5 hours and it will come out almost falling apart tender. I'll be your Martha coach...LOL!!