He left

My son and his wife left for home yesterday morning.  This is the extent of my being the least bit functional  since they left. My amazing wife drove me to a great little hotel and got us a suite with a big fat hot tub in the room and played with the kids while I just laid there and vegged for what felt like hours.  I feel lost and he hasn't even left the stupid country yet.  I'm one of those people that hold everything in until it explodes out so I'm just waiting for that explosion to happen.  I'm hoping that writing it all out will lessen the explosion somehow.  I wish I was one of those people that could just say to my friends hey i need to talk but I'm not, it just doesn't work for me.  This blog is the most I've written about how I'm feeling in years!  At least it's something.  On a positive note I've gotten about 3 boxes of supplies ready to send to anysoldier simple things like holiday cards to send back home and toothbrushes and chapstick and deodorant anything to make it a little easier on them.