Tuesday, October 26, 2010

In laws, deployments and Egg Donors

I think this is going to end up being another rant so if you don't want to listen to me be bitchy STOP HERE

So don't get me wrong, I really enjoy my wife's family.  Her mom is a kick in the pants and we get along ok well honestly i think we tolerate each other (sorry honey, i know you read this sometimes maybe you shouldn't read this one). What I don't get is why it's so hard for her to accept that her daughter is a lesbian and is in a long term relationship with a child, it's not a phase, it's not gonna change anytime soon. I have to think to myself that that is the reason that we only tolerate each other otherwise I'm afraid it's just me that she doesn't like.  I go out of my way to make them feel comfortable, I make sure my home is clean and tidy and stocked with food, I cook, I clean, I cook some more, I give them lots of room to get to know Emma and have fun with her without her wanting to cling to either Ash or I and I'm re payed by indifference. Not that I want to be thanked or anything I just fucking want to be acknowledged.  I am your daughters wife, her partner for life, the 2nd mother of your grandchild.  Is is too much to ask to be a part of your "family" pictures? The sisters boyfriend was in the pictures, is it that I don't have a penis? 
When Ash and I had only been together a short time our first holiday around my family was Easter and I had just come out so my mom had decided that it was a "family" only dinner.  I made it clear to my mother, father and both of my sisters that I am a Lesbian get used to it, you can openly accept me and the person I am with or we can forgo me coming to family get togethers because I refuse to make my partner feel like she isn't worthy of my family.  We missed 1 holiday, after that my family got the point and Ashley is seriously loved by my family as much as either of my sisters spouses.  My mom is proud of my family, our pics are all over the house, all over her FB she doesn't care who knows her daughter is gay and she defends me to anyone (even a dear long time best friend of hers). I know I can't expect Ashley's family to be exactly as open but for hell sake I'm not the fucking hired help in her daughters house either and that is the way I felt. It's no wonder these visits only happen once a year.

ok on to better crap!  I'm going to California to say goodbye to my son again.  I know I said he didn't want to say goodbye twice but the sweet boy took pity on his mom (could have been the emotional breakdown I had after Ashley's family left) so Ash and I are going to see him off this weekend.  My amazing family is going to help out with Emma because it'll be too much to take her with us as it's going to be such a quick trip and a 10 hour drive with her is not on my list of fun things to do.  All of this also makes me feel guilty as hell because we'll be missing Emma's first Halloween.  We even got her the cutest costume (Tom Arma Elephant) but I told my family we're coming trick or treating on Monday so save us some damn candy!!!  Ashley is being amazing about it, I don't know what I did to deserve such a beautiful wife but I'm thankful for her every single day. 

On the Surrogate front..... we've been waiting for our Egg Donor to get her FDA required tests done and it turns out she hasn't gotten her period...... took a home pregnancy test that was negative but still no period so who knows, i wish the boys would just pick a new donor so we can get this show on the road!

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