Sunday, November 28, 2010


Yaaaaaaaaa my pies turned out great!  We really had a great thanksgiving.  My sister always throws herself into every party she hosts.  She son in laws mother brought this rum cake she had been making for the last 28 was heavenly.  I never really like the taste of alcohol and this cake was full of it, had been soaking in run for 28 days so really it was quite strong but the flavor was amazing.  My pumpkin cheesecake went over fabulous and as always my gramma deans (that's who Emma is named after) pecan pie was a hit. 

I think I did pretty good for the day, I only had a couple of breakdowns.  Once when I was talking to my ex husband about Matt and once when everyone asked how and where he was and when I heard from him last.  That's the thing, he's been gone for 28 days and I've heard from him once and that was just a quick IM convo on facebook.  It's not like we used to talk every day but I texted with him weekly, i always knew he was ok.  I feel bad because i got snippy with my daughter in law because she was talking to him the other day and I tried to get some information from her and she didn't respond much so I felt like she was withholding information.  So now she's mad and feels like i don't think she hurts because she gets to talk to him.  I tried to explain that that is not how I feel, I realize she hurts, I realize she misses her husband, I don't know how she does it.  I'd be officially bonkers if I was her.  She is strong and doing an amazing job at being a military wife.  Me on the other hand I suck as a military mother!  I can't wrap my head around it.  I can't watch a damn coffee commercial without bawling my head off.  I can't talk to my sons dad without crying because he hasn't heard from him either.  I feel like crap because I don't want to do anything and that's letting the rest of my family down. If it wasn't for Ashley no Christmas presents would be purchased (other than black Friday and that's it's own post when I get to it) I can't imagine even putting the tree up, I'm dreading it and that is soooo not me.  I'm always into Christmas, I make all my own decorations and change the tree up every couple of years.  This year I could give a shit less but I'm going to try today to at least get the crap out of the basement and start decorating.  If it wasn't for Emma I'd boycott it all this year!


C.I.W. said...

ugghh.. I am so sorry to hear about your hurt. My nextdoor neighbor (who I ADORE)has a son in the military. THis is his first year. His wife and two kids are with him. I always tread lightly when I ask about him, as I don't know how often they can have contact.

She is proud of him for serving.. but he is still her son, and she wants him home.

Your son is doing an amazing thing for his country! I hope that you are able to catch up with him more often.. just to put your mind at rest.


paradykes said...

I agree that he's doing an amazing thing for his country and really he's so proud to be doing it. He was excited to be deployed because it's what he signed up to do. He knew going into the Marines that he'd be sent somewhere.

He used to be kinda a shit, always in trouble kinda kid, just a little punk ass skater boy, so this is a huge change for him. I do miss the long haired skater boy though but i'm so proud of the man he's become.